getting fat, again

I'm just eating way too much! Yesterday, I started first thing (well, second, but anyway) in the morning with a little drive to McD's, and a plan were the best bathroom to get rid of it afterwards would be. Repeated later with Sushi and Chocolate Cookies, and dinner (Chicken Curry). Now, that wouldn't have been too bad, if I wasn't so paranoid about somebody catching me, being too loud, taking too long...So, I'm pretty sure I didn't get everything out.
I am disgusting!
Besides the weight gain, the health risks, the risks of getting caught and the waste of money, it's actually not anything that makes me feel good about myself.
When I am pretty much forced to eat out with friends? Maybe, although self control always feels better.
But cramming huge amounts of food secretly and alone into my body, just to secretly and alone purge in the next bathroom? Urgh. Mental + disgusting.
And again, I don't really have the money to waste on it.
I think I should go back to liquid fasting. Just because it's strict enough that there's not that much I can have, it's cheap, and as I can't image life without coffee and will probably have lots of alcohol this weekend, it's also the most realistic. So, here we go again! Let's see how long I can make it!