Evil me

I'm so sick of tired of people thinking I'm bad. The worst is, I started to believe it. Years ago, I wanted to be bad. I found it funny.
Now, I'm just so tired of it.
My ex-boyfriends called me witch, one even the devil. My friends say I'm bad influence. I probably am. My friends's friends dislike my for it.
Yes I party hard. On average twice a week. Yes I have a job that's maybe not as challenging as I would like. And now? I don't have a boyfriend, and don't have any obligations, I can't get another job at the moment for visa reasons, and I'm still waiting for my qualifications to get approved so I can get back to studying (part time). If things continue the way they are right now, that might take another year. Or forever.
So why would I not party? And if you decide to join me, why is that my fault? Yes, I've always been good at getting people to do what I want. And yes, you probaly wouldn't have continued drinking till 12pm the next day, if I hadn't been there.
Does that make it my fault?
My psychologist asked me what I liked about myself. Took me 10 minutes to come up with some bullshit. I can't actually think of much.
On a positive not: I hardly eat when I party. So I loose weight. Another reason to continue.
"Maybe I'm bad, but I'm perfectly good at it!"