Weight 126. It's weird at the moment, I dont feel fat, I dont feel horrible when I look at the number on the scale. But when I get my hair done and am forced to look at my face I can see all the fat. When I'm trying on clothes and I look at the mirror and realize I cannot where shorts with those legs, when I look at my boyfirend (who's tiny and got the worst eating habits) or at my hairdresser (who's also tiny and works out all the time) then I feel fat.
Fact is, I am still fat. I am kind of proud of myself, cause I stopped bingeing and purging, and instead started to eat somewhat healthy, but I slip too often, I eat too much, and I dont work out long or hard enough. Summer is about to start, and I want a nice summer body.
I also need to do some work in my life. I mean it's fun, but I just feel guilty not doing anything about the things I have to change.
I'm dating one of my colleagues, Nick. And that sentence has everything I need to change in it. My job is ridiculous: lots of responsibility, awesome colleagues, no money and I don't really care about it. I just need to find something that I actually like, where they pay me enough to live from it.
And Nick: we are having fun, he's a great guy, but he's not the guy I'm going to marry. Is it wrong to just have fun?
Need to go for a run.