SORRY!

It's not like lots of people are reading it, but I still felt extremely bad about my long absence.
The main reason? I was too embarrassed. Instead of going down, my weight kept going up. How can I tell keep telling you about that? At the worst point, I was back at 136. I could hardly get dressed in the mornings (tough when all your clothes are way too tight), forget about blogging about it.
Now I'm down to 126...but I'm not exactly proud of how I got here...It was all Mia. Which seems to be the only way for all the skinny people around me. Today, I didn't speak on the big white phone...and I know my weight will be up. What I ate? 1 Croissant (fuck my lack of control and Monday pastry day!), 1 small packet of beef jerky and a fruit salad with yogurt. I can pretty much feel my thighs and stomach expanding as I'm writing this. And I know, seeing as today is already fucked, that I'll eat when I get home....and than, after two days without, I'll go back to one massive meal a day, that later wanders down the toilet...
I can't. I'm always to lazy to run (or too tired. Or just working 15 hours like today), and although Hoodia stops my hunger, nothing can stop my appetite.
And I'm still too fat.

Other than that: work is something between extremely boring and extremely stressful, but i can always entertain myself by flirting with my colleagues :-)
my car is fucked, my phone is fucked...
...and my attempt at Dave (maybe the feelings will come after some time) ended in him breaking up with me because my "selfish disinterest was something he didn't want to deal with"
oh well, thanks for saving me the bother...